When providing care for a loved one with dementia, it can be incredibly challenging. The reality is that caregiving is often a 24/7 job, and while it can be rewarding, it can also cause emotional distress and physical exhaustion in caregivers.
Caregiver guilt is defined as feelings of guilt that arise from experiencing negative emotions while caring for someone else. The guilt can feel deeply unsettling, and many look down on themselves for feeling this way, but it’s a completely normal feeling to experience. Caregiving isn’t easy, and it only gets more difficult when adding in other life responsibilities (raising children, jobs, marriage, etc.).
What are examples of caregiver guilt?
Feeling like you’re not doing enough: As a caregiver, you may feel guilty about not being able to provide a higher level of support for your loved ones. Many caregivers have additional responsibilities beyond caregiving, such as work and family life. In addition, a lack of training in dementia care can cause stress as well.
Previous promises not to place your loved one in senior living: Most seniors reject the idea of senior living – 77% of seniors surveyed by the AARP said they prefer to age in place. However, there may be a time when it’s in the best interest of the senior and their family to move into assisted living. Some parents tell their children they will never move into a senior living facility – or even ask them to promise they’ll never place them in a nursing home. While we all want to strive to keep our promises and make our parents happy, there are times when we must prioritize what’s truly best for their well-being.
Neglecting other responsibilities: Caregiving can be a full-time job, especially for those caring for dementia patients who are in the late stages of the disease. Time spent caregiving can lead to other responsibilities being delayed or left unfinished.
Feeling stretched thin or emotionally exhausted: Caregiving is an exhausting job. In addition to most caregivers being unpaid, it is a physically and emotionally demanding task that often leaves caregivers feeling burnt out and unappreciated.
In our culture, there is a lack of sensitivity related to caregiving, especially for the disabled and elderly. Many people feel that it’s a form of giving back and that children should feel grateful for the chance to help their parents, as they once helped them. It’s true that caregiving can be a rewarding task, but that doesn’t mean it’s not difficult, especially when caring for parents with memory care disorders such as dementia.
Memory disorders are often accompanied by behavioral, physical, and emotional challenges that some may feel unequipped for. It’s best for both the caregiver and care recipient to have strategies to cope with caregiver guilt. Some people believe that these feelings can just be ignored, but at the end of the day, it may affect your ability to give care and your relationship with your parents in the long-term.
Those experiencing caregiver guilt or stress may feel there’s no solution to resolving those feelings. There are options to resolve these emotions and lead to a better outcome for both caregivers and care recipients.
Find a Support Network:
Caregiving can feel isolating, but you don’t have to take the journey alone. Reaching out to friends and family for additional support can make all the difference in your caregiving journey. Another great resource is finding a caregiver support group, where you can connect with others experiencing the same challenges.
Self-Care:
It’s important to remember that your needs still matter and it’s necessary to practice self-care. Take time to focus on leisure and self-care activities that promote personal well-being. Reading a book, taking a walk, and catching up with friends can be great ways to focus on yourself. You can’t take good care of others if you’re not taking care of yourself first and foremost.
When It’s Time for a Memory Care Move:
As our parents age, we often feel a deep desire to give back for the love, care, and sacrifices they made while raising us. Many adult children find themselves taking on some level of caregiving as their parents grow older.
Dementia presents a lot of serious challenges, and there may come a point where memory care is the best option for both you and your loved one. Putting a parent in a memory care facility might evoke feelings of guilt. It’s important to remember that memory care placement doesn’t mean you failed as a caregiver; it means you are doing the right thing for your parents by placing them in an environment where they can receive support and thrive.
Putting your parent in memory care doesn’t mean your role stops – it will just look different. You can focus more on spending quality family time with your parent while knowing their care needs are being met.
Our memory care facility offers residents a setting where they can make new friends, receive caregiver support 24/7, and participate in recreational activities such as exercise and card games tailored to the needs of individuals with dementia. This offers families peace of mind knowing their loved one is well-cared for. Book a tour today!
